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The Roman emperor Augustus had a slave for everything. He even had a slave to fan him while he slept at night. If you were a Roman citizen, your life was pretty great. If you were a slave, it wasn’t.

I’ve always had a little bit of a problem with stoicism.

That problem is history.

Sure, the Romans gave us philosophy. They also kind of stole it from Greece, like they appropriated most of Greek culture after conquering them and completely destroying the city of Corinth (as an example) in 146 B.C. As my historian friends remind me:

Be careful…


Her boss called early in the morning, while she was still scrambling with her kids. She’s a single quarantine mom, recently divorced.

“Can you hop on this meeting?”

“Not really,” she said.

He got huffy. “We really need you on this call. It’s important.”

She dropped everything.

As you can imagine, the meeting wasn’t that important. (They never are.) She answered two questions, barely finishing a sentence before someone cut her off. Eventually she muted herself and finished getting her kids ready. The big bosses like to air drop meetings on people. They cancel them at the last minute. …

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Two billionaires walk into a bar…

The first one talks about the fortune he wants to build. He says, “I want to make so much money, my granddaughter doesn’t ever have to get a real job. She can just go be a teacher or something.” The second billionaire says, “Why don’t we just pay teachers fairly now?”

The first billionaire laughs.

That’s an actual conversation, except the other billionaire was Dan Price — and he’s not a billionaire. He’s a CEO who became famous for actually paying his employees what they’re worth.

I’ve been teaching for over ten years. I’ve…

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Joel Osteen doesn’t drive a ferrari.

More accurately, there’s no definitive proof that Joel Osteen drives a $350,000 458 italia. Online rumors started circulating that he did, but they turned out to be unconfirmed. I guess it’s comforting the father of prosperity gospel doesn’t flaunt his wealth, except for his mansion.

And his second, even bigger mansion…

And his private jet…

Anyway, Osteen sat down with Oprah a few years ago to defend his wealth. “There’s nothing wrong with being blessed,” he said. Then he started talking about shallowness and greed. …

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I’m a quitter.

I quit piano when I turned 12. A few years later, I quit karate. Then I quit cello. I quit debate team. I also quit track and cross country.

After college, I quit rock climbing.

I’ve quit tons of things.

I’ve quit at least seven jobs.

I hated them.

Usually I’ve quit because I wasn’t any good. Other times, I got bored. I lost interest. Something else grabbed my attention.

I love quitting.

Giving up can be good for you.

I never had one of those dads.

You know, the kind who supports you know matter what. …

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Anti-vaxxers are learning new tricks.

Now they’re claiming to be “pro-vaccine” and “pro-science.” They’re calling themselves researchers and appropriating terms they don’t understand, for the mere sake of advancing bad-faith arguments about public health. One phrase they throw around is “anecdotal evidence,” which is exactly what you don’t use to draw scientific conclusions. See, anecdotal evidence is pretty much what it sounds like. It’s anecdotal. The subjective experience of a few people doesn’t represent a population.

Just to be crystal clear, getting sick with covid five times and concluding “it’s not that bad” isn’t research.

It’s stupidity.

Let’s make a…

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I was going to write about something else. Then an ex-marine suited up in full body armor and invaded a woman’s home.

He killed her.

He killed her baby.

He shot an 11-year old girl several times. Then he started a shootout with police. He had a car full of guns. He was high on meth. I’m sure the politicians and sheriffs will try to blame drugs for this massacre, when something far darker is going on. America teaches men to hate.

It gives them a cause.


The night before he murdered a mother and her child, this man…

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There’s one abortion clinic left in Mississippi.

One woman had to drive hundreds of miles to get there. Contrary to how the right portrays women who seek abortions, she wasn’t just some whore or a reluctant mom with cold feet. She was suffering from complications. Once she arrived, the clinic couldn’t even perform the procedure. The state of Mississippi requires women to undergo counseling first.

It usually takes all day.

Hundreds of women face the same story. They need abortions but can’t get them, because there’s nowhere to go. It takes too long. They don’t fit the narrow criteria spelled…

Photo by Victor Lozano on Unsplash

Americans have never been great at thinking.

Maybe you’ve noticed.

I’ll give you an example: My friend’s uncle used to refuse to use the cup holders in his car. He preferred to perch his coffee on the dashboard. You can probably guess how that played out. The coffee slid off the dashboard and spilled all over his wife. It happened twice. He blamed her for it both times. He said she was making it happen.

They eventually divorced. His logic about coffee and cup holders bled into other areas of their marriage.

That tends to happen…

This is my favorite…

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My neighbor is a hoarder. She lives in a house that’s falling apart. She’s divorced. She’s also addicted to opioid pain killers. She thinks colloidal silver and ivermectin will protect her from covid. Obviously, she’s not getting vaccinated. We’re trying to help her sort through some of her issues, because nobody really wants to live like that.

Despite all this, she feels qualified to give me advice:

“You can’t have just one kid.

Don’t you want more?”

Um, no. Thanks for asking…

She has three, all grown.

My neighbor tells me one’s not enough. She says my child will grow…

Jessica Wildfire

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