The Simple Trick to Getting a Great Night’s Sleep
It’s 1 am, maybe later.
I’m tired, but I feel like I should be doing something. I feel like I haven’t earned the right to sleep. Maybe if I get a head start on tomorrow’s goals, I’ll finally feel like I deserve it.
“I’ll relax later,” I say.
Maybe you can relate. For one reason or another, you can almost never actually just get a good night’s sleep. You can’t do it the way all those books and articles say you should. It’s never as simple as just making sleep a priority. How great that would be.
I thought it might be helpful to compile my own list of things you should or shouldn’t do to sleep better.
Here they are:
1. Don’t have kids.
There’s a lot of moms out there cruising on five hours of sleep or less. Everyone knows that children destroy your productivity and sanity. So why on earth would you have one?
(I had one.)
It takes forever to get your child on a normal sleep schedule, unless your one of those supermoms. You have to read a ton of books and articles. You have to train them. It’s weird. You’d think babies would slide right out with modern day sleep habits.
If you want to hear something especially infuriating, read about sleep regressions. They’re a special circle of hell. You get your child on a good sleep schedule. Then their brain starts to grow a little, and they forget how to sleep again. You’ll blame yourself at first.
The worst part of all of this is that nobody cares. Your friends won’t care. Your coworkers won’t care.
Your boss won’t either.
Sure, you can read books and articles on how to get better sleep as a parent. They’ll help some. In truth, most parents simply resign themselves to at least two years of completely random, unpredictable nights filled with crying, stress, and quiet self-loathing.
So if you want to guarantee great sleep…
Don’t have kids.