Someone’s gotta say it.

As millennials reach middle age, a phrase lingers in the back of our heads — the much anticipated “midlife crisis.” Our minds evoke images of Mad Men cruising by strip clubs in sports cars and cynical moms drinking boxed wine at brunch. …

You don’t have to be a genius to know that kidnapping the most beautiful woman on earth could cause a few problems.

You don’t have to be a prophet, either.

Nobody ever talks about Cassandra, the world’s first doomsayer. She could see the future. …

Maybe there’s no point in any of this at all, but it’s the best I can do. So I’m going to do it.

Where I stand is where I fall.

— Dr. Who

I didn’t read a single self-help book until my early 30s, but I watched a helluva lot…

I didn’t want to go home.

The trips were miserable. If I wasn’t scrubbing my mom’s bodily fluids out of the carpet, I was enduring my dad’s judgment. If I said hi, he responded by commenting openly on my hair, my clothes, and of course my body. …

Here’s the closest thing to a universal truth:

Everyone complains.

The question is who gets to complain about what, and why. Apparently it’s okay to complain about the great resignation and government spending, but it’s not okay to complain about climate destruction or poverty. You can tell everyone they’re destroying…

He yelled at his daughter over the phone. He hung up on her. Then he bought his new girlfriend a pony. It was her birthday.

His daughter’s, I mean.

She’s 12.

This dude has read his share of self-help. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think it’s working for…

All of us know someone who says they care about the environment. They say they support feminism and racial justice. They talk about poverty and homelessness. Then you notice something.

It’s camouflage.

In reality, they don’t even recycle. They follow five hundred dudes on Twitter, and maybe seven women. …

Well, here we go again.

The U.S. just reported a huge jump in covid cases. Surprised? I’m not. I’ve been expecting this for a while. My winter holiday plans look exactly like they did last year. Stay home. Send presents.

Eat. Sleep. Zoom. Repeat.

(Exercise.)

I’ve got one thing going…