You’ll Always Care What Everyone Thinks

Pretending you don’t only causes problems.

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Pretending you don’t care doesn’t shield you from what other people think. It only delays your ability to process your emotions.

False confidence borders on apathy, and it gives us the illusion of safety. We only say we don’t care when we secretly care too much, or when someone’s opinion does matter, and we don’t want to admit it to ourselves.

Sometimes, you have to marinate in the pain for a little while. Admit that some part of you feels hurt, even if it was by some little twerp online, or a stranger who passed you on the sidewalk.

Immediate self-love skips an important step. Sometimes, you have to marinate in the pain for a little while. Admit that some part of you feels hurt. Consider that maybe you are self-conscious about your hair, your nose, the sound of your voice, or the gap in your teeth.

Life would be easier if every random insult didn’t affect us. But then we’d be robots.

Not everyone has to like you. Likewise, you don’t have to treat every opinion like it matters. But that doesn’t mean you should develop an instinct to dismiss everything you don’t like, what isn’t flattering.

Our stance toward others’ opinions of us shouldn’t be all-or-nothing. You can scale it.

Let’s start with some random troll on the Internet who posts something snarky on your selfie. Should you care about his opinion? No, he’s a stranger. You’ve never met in real life. You never will.

Even your friends aren’t supposed to support you no matter what. They have the right to tell you that you suck, from a place of love and respect.

Now consider your friends. Here’s where things get tricky. They can say mean things without trying. Again, you have to scale their opinions. Maybe they’re not qualified to comment on your music. Maybe they can’t articulate what they don’t like about your poetry, or your clothes.

Written by

She’s the funny one. jessica.wildfire.writer@gmail.com

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