What Makes a Relationship Last

#6 —pretend to have a good time.

1. You admire things about them

There’s a lot to see in someone besides an Instagram body or a rock star salary. Maybe they read a lot, or they’re the most patient person you know, or they make you laugh like nobody else can.

2. You’re different around them

Someone you love brings out a different side of you, something that not many other people get to see. It might even be something you didn’t know was there, or had forgotten about. A relationship will last as long as you still bring out the best hidden things in each other.

3. You learn from each other

You’re not done growing as a person after you find “the one.” You’ll both keep turning into better people. Someone you love has qualities that you’d like to build in yourself. If you really love someone, you should want to be more like them — at least a little bit.

4. You confide in each other

It’s possible to commit emotional infidelity. That happens when you share your deepest thoughts and feelings with someone else — not your partner. It hurts just as bad as actually cheating on them.

5. You make little sacrifices

Big sacrifices are easy. You get lots of credit for them. But it’s the little sacrifices that make a relationship last.

6. You pretend to have a good time

Let’s stay on this point a little longer. Pretending to have a good time is probably the best thing you can do to make a relationship last. Hey, you’re going to be irritated some days.

7. You flirt and kid with each other

A relationship lasts when you don’t take everything so seriously all the time. You joke and flirt at the beginning of a relationship to show you’re interest. You keep doing it to show them you’re still interested.

8. You can relax around them

We all wind up filtering ourselves a little at work, and even with our own friends and families. Having someone you can be your unfiltered self around means a lot. When you’re talking to them, your own feelings and emotions come out clear — not fuzzy.

9. You get along with their family

Whoever you love is going to have parents, siblings, and relatives. You have to enjoy spending time with them, too.

10. You respect each other’s opinions

You don’t have to love everything they do. You just have to understand why. That goes for everything from music to politics. If you honestly can’t imagine why anyone would like Maroon 5, then you’re probably not going to be with them too long.

11. You tackle problems together

A relationship that lasts doesn’t break down into “my problems and your problems.” Their problems are yours, and vice versa. The same goes for money, and just about everything else. Telling someone “that’s your problem” or “that’s my money” is the first step toward a breakup or divorce. It means you kinda don’t care about them anymore.

12. You give each other some space

Love doesn’t require being around someone all the time. The longer you’re in a relationship, the more you need your own space. You love someone when you trust them to be on their own.

13. You trust each other

It’s really simple. You do what you say you’re going to. You don’t keep huge secrets. You work toward common interests. When you screw up, you do what it takes to rebuild that trust.

Take your relationship off cruise control

Relationships last because you always remember they could end. When we assume someone will be around forever, that’s when we stop trying so hard. We get complacent, even lazy.

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