What Happiness Does (And Doesn’t) Look Like

Let’s stop telling people how to express their emotions.

Photo by Daniel Xavier from Pexels

Nothing can piss you off like someone telling you to smile. You’re already soldiering through a rough day. You got out of bed. You came to work. You even took a shower first.

You feel like shit. And you even have reasons. But you’re here. You showed up. That’s awesome. Some days, that’s enough.

You’re not whining to all your coworkers about your company’s $20 million budget shortfall. You’re coming up with ideas. You’re trying to be part of the solution, even while others indulge in public meltdowns. You’re keeping it together. And yet that’s not enough for the random stranger who sees you on the sidewalk. Your tired eyes just won’t do.

Smile, he says. Maybe he even adds something like, “It can’t be that bad.” He wants you to expend additional energy on contorting your face into some shape that makes him feel good.

The random strangers who tell you to smile can’t see inside your head. They probably wouldn’t bother to look if they could.

Some of us understand the difference between looking happy and feeling happy. The two don’t always share notes. Someone who doesn’t look happy might be feeling just fine, or the opposite. They don’t need someone else…