The goal of my original article was to expand the definition of toxic femininity and use it to help call out and illuminate some of the bad behaviors we see in relationships. Other columnists have also used this phrase to describe the broader acceptance of gender norms that leads to destructive behaviors and beliefs. They include what you mention, but they’re not limited to those. In general, I'm not a big fan of telling others how they can/can't use words, but I see where you're coming from. In the end, it sounds like we agree. Take care.