The 7 Secrets of Being Weird and Unlikable
“Honestly, I couldn’t stand you at first.”
I’ve heard that a few times, usually from people I barely knew. A while back, there was this one woman who kept thanking me for a favor I did. It felt weird. I asked her what was up.
At last, she dropped her facade.
“I actually don’t like you.”
I’m on the autism spectrum. The habits and life hacks that allegedly work for everyone else land flat for me.
That’s one of the reasons I get so irritated at all the advice out there. Not only does it not work, it harms us. It sets us up for failure, and it reinforces expectations that make our lives that much harder. It confuses us. It makes it harder for us to trust people.
I don’t want someone to pretend to be nice to me if they secretly hate my guts. I want them to leave me alone.
People like us have to grow a much more organic approach to life to get anything we want. It’s hard. It’s painful. It requires a lot of trial and error. We have to find our own way.
Here’s what I’ve learned:
1. Give up a little.
My life got a lot better when I stopped trying to impress important people. It’s okay if nobody pays attention to you. It’s okay if you walk into a room, and nothing happens.
For people like us, that’s a good thing.
Who cares if everyone likes you? Who cares if everyone is fascinated by you, or finds you irresistible?
Crowds are fickle.
2. Practice the law of unattraction.
The law of attraction doesn’t work for weird people.
(I don’t think it works for anyone.)
A lot of people say they don’t believe in the law of attraction. Whatever. Of course they do. They just won’t admit it, because it sounds so ridiculous when you say it out loud.
Sometimes realizing you didn’t want something in the first place feels better than getting it.