The 10 best excuses for skipping Thanksgiving

Source: Everett Collection

Let’s say you’d rather spend Thanksgiving with the Manson family than your own. For lots of us, that sounds like a serious upgrade. At least Uncle Charles has some spicy coffee table chit-chat. I’ll bet that guy’s got a ton of great stories.

But most of us just want to spend the holidays at home, by ourselves. No driving. No traffic. No airport drama. No awkward conversations with your aunt about when you’re getting married. Or when you’re going to pump out a baby. Or when you’re going to let them baptize said baby.

Lucky for you, I’m here with solutions. Lie to them. Yes, lie. But you’ll need a good excuse — something believable yet serious enough to justify your absence. Are you ready? Let’s begin:

1. Tell them you’re having surgery. Yes, on Thanksgiving. Sucks, doesn’t it? But that’s when the doctors could fit you in. Make the ailment something small like an appendix, or an ovary cyst. Don’t overplay your hand. With something like heart surgery or a brain tumor, they’d probably fly up to provide comfort and moral support. You don’t want that.
2. Your house was hit by a meteor. Nobody would have the balls to make up something so outlandish. They’ll ask why an event like that didn’t make the news. Tell them houses get hit by meteors all the time out here. They even sell meteor insurance.