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Sex shops in the south
My whole life, I’ve shopped for sex toys online. Never ventured into a brick and mortar store until recently. Such a shame. Unless you live in the South. Down here, sex shops feel kind of sketchy.
But hang on. Maybe I’m rushing into generalizations. Sex shops might look sketchy everywhere. Sad squat buildings far away from civilization, usually right off the highway, beneath a big billboard.
Then again, no. When I spent a pinch of time in Europe, you practically tripped over sex. It wasn’t a big deal. Escorts practically handed you business cards. Okay, not practically. Literally.
And they were really nice cards, too.
Classy, just loved their choice of font.
Now back to the states. Sex shops occupy the absolute worst buildings. Concrete, cinder-block nightmares. Ugly pink trim. Somewhere in the distance, a church looms. With a cross so big, it looks specially designed to blow over and crush the sex shop in a bad thunderstorm.
If you were thinking about having sex before you came here, you’re having second thoughts now. Everything about sex shops looks like they were made to make you feel cheap, stupid, and nasty.
And not the good kinda nasty. I’m talking about the “did that guy just pick his nose before touching his French fries?” kinda nasty.
