Screw anyone who shames you

Jessica Wildfire
5 min readJan 12, 2018

Apparently, some people still don’t understand what body shaming means. It has nothing to do with health or fitness. Healthy people don’t make life choices out of guilt, fear, or a desire to please others.

When celebrities proudly declare on national television that they like being shamed, we have a problem. Nobody should like being shamed. If they do, they need therapy.

Nobody should think they’re doing a friend or loved one favors by commenting on their appearance. Shaming involves nothing other than hypocrites judging those who don’t fit an ideal body type.

Take one of my college friends. A model. For real, people paid her money to wear their clothes in advertisements. Probably the most attractive person I’ve ever shared oxygen with. She never described being shamed as a pleasant experience, or thanked anyone for it.

My model friend once cried to me over coffee about her body. A lingerie company had rejected her. Why? Her butt was one inch too big. Someone had actually wrapped measuring tape around each part of her.

Thousands of young women envied my friend’s physique. By all standards, she was gorgeous.

“That’s weird,” I said. “Who can tell the difference between two asses by one inch?”

My comment didn’t help. So I tried again. “I mean, you’ve got a great ass.” And I was telling the absolute truth. It was the kind of ass that stopped men in the street. The kind of ass that solicits catcalls.

But this ass wasn’t good enough for a lingerie brand.

My point? Even professionals don’t enjoy being shamed. Here was my friend, a practical stick, tearing up over a single inch. And she had no reason to feel bad. If one inch can send a demi-goddess into an emotional spiral, imagine what happens when an ordinary person hears that kind of criticism from friends, family, and spouses.

It’s healthy to enlist life partners in your fitness goals. Let’s say a married couple decides to go on a diet. They exercise together and decide on meal plans. They buy matching Fitbits. Maybe they hold each other accountable for their daily goals. “Honey, did you reach your 10,000 steps today?” How cute. Couples do that all the time.

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