Rejected Shark Tank Ideas

I’ve been trying to get on Shark Tank for years now. I’ve emailed them so many great ideas, and you know what? Not one single invite. I even check my spam folder, just in case. Nothing. They’re such jerks. Like this one time, I was doing cocaine with my college friends, and we realized there’s really no straw that’s the exact right length and circumference. So we had this week-long brainstorming session where we calculated the exact…