Imposter Syndrome Never Goes Away

So learn how it can make you a better person.

Photo by Vadim Sadovski on Unsplash

Someone will always step up to judge your achievements. Even if that person has to be you. Nobody delivers criticism better. That’s all imposter syndrome is. Internalized gaslighting.

You spend so much energy getting where you want to be. When you finally arrive, it feels strangely quiet for a moment.

Until you start accusing yourself of cheating.

You forget how hard you worked. That leads to doubt. You tell yourself you should’ve suffered more. That you’re just not as good as the others in your league. That somehow they know what you really are...

And they’re looking down on you with oh so much condescension. Even as they smile and say “Congratulations. You earned this.”

And now you worry about what happens when they discover the true depth of your deceptions and betrayals.

They’ll find out you didn’t read that one book. There’s a key fact or two floating in the ocean that you didn’t scoop up. You’ll slip when you least expect, like over lunch with one of your heroes. They’ll make an historical reference you don’t get. Or quote something you haven’t read, with a kind of breezy familiarity that makes you wince.