If You Love Someone, You Must Be Stupid

Love is a series of stupid mistakes.

One of my other friends moved to Oregon last year to be with someone she loves. They didn’t get engaged first.

There’s nothing practical about love.

Humans used to get married for all kinds of reasons — money, land, political alliances. Love had nothing to do with it.

We can’t define love.

Ask someone to explain love, and you’ll get a different answer every time. Nobody has a clue what it really means.

There’s nothing tangible about love.

Love is one of the few words that has no physical referent. You can’t point to anything in the real world and go, “That’s love.”

There’s nothing consistent about love.

If we were smart about love, we would standardize it. Nobody has come up with a way to do that yet.

Love goes against your self-interest.

If we were smart, we’d stay away from love. It’s gross and painful. It gets us into all kinds of trouble.

Love makes you feel stupid.

To get good at love, you have to get used to feeling stupid. If you can’t, then you’ll give up before you ever figure it out.

Love is a trick we play on ourselves.

Nobody knows what they’re signing up for when they decide to love someone. If we knew how all of our relationships were going to turn out, we’d probably never go on a date with anyone. We’d focus on our careers. We’d save our money. We’d make wiser investments.

Love is a game of chance.

Imagine if someone ever came up with an algorithm that predicted your actual, numerical chances of finding the right person, and building a real relationship with them. Imagine there was a machine that told you exactly what you needed to do. Would you want to use it?

Love is stupid, and that’s fine.

The more you think about love, the less it makes sense.

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