How to Write Clickbait

I’m about to show you the simplest strategy for writing clickbait articles. Seriously, sit down. This post is going to blow your mind. When I’m done, you won’t believe what you’ve just read.

First, clear your schedule. Cancel any meetings you had. This article demands your full attention. It’s going to take you forever to finally reach the place where I say something meaningful. I’m not even kidding. You’ll probably need at least three hours. Why? Get ready for a convoluted explanation.

You see, that’s one trick I’ve learned writing clickbait. Keep your readers scrolling. You want them to scroll as much as possible to test their commitment. Only people with a true sense of desperation and urgency deserve your advice.

I’m testing you right now.

Are you still scrolling?

Keep scrolling, dude.

Now I know what you’re thinking. When is she going to give me the advice!? Settle down. My advice is on the way.

First, let’s talk about my topic for a little while. We see clickbait everywhere on the web these days. The writers behind these articles make tons of cash. How much, exactly? I’m not going to tell you. That defeats the purpose of my art. Imagine they live in castles and ride robot unicorns to work everyday. Gorgeous women want to rip their clothes off.