How to recover from a terrible date

Life doesn’t end after your strike out on Tinder.

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Gaudilab

Dates I’ve destroyed

I’ve ruined a few dates. One time, the Cabernet went straight to my head after a rough week with too much work and not enough sleep. My attempts to flirt all failed hard, and at some point I literally tripped and fell. Tried to laugh it off. He was not impressed.

Lessons learned from bad dates

Distance and perspective have taught me something important. Neither one of those dates should’ve happened. Both times, I wasn’t acting like myself. Stress can do that. So can unfair expectations in your head. My problem was that I didn’t prepare myself emotionally.

What happens when you don’t center

Some people simply don’t connect. Others need some serious coaching. Take this guy, for instance. This post provided my inspiration.

  • You suck at conversation. Learn how to talk to people. Stop compensating by asking stupid questions like “why” over and over. Maybe you could benefit from more female friends in your life.
  • This whole “boyish charm” persona doesn’t work for you. Instead, it makes you look and sound childish.
  • Maybe you’re actually funny, but you pushed way too hard too soon on the humor. If a date doesn’t laugh at your jokes, stop telling them. Calling attention to the obvious just irritates people.
  • Learn to read body language and when to cut your losses. Sometimes, it becomes painfully clear that someone’s not into you. You can’t salvage a bad connection with chocolate lava cake.
  • Maturity (You seem calm and organized)
  • Self sufficiency (Not wealth, but you can support yourself)
  • Reflectiveness (You stop and think about your mistakes)
  • Kindness (You think about other people’s needs)
  • Humility (You show confidence, but don’t brag)
  • Humor (Not “ha ha” humor, but an appreciation of life’s irony).

Written by

She’s the funny one. jessica.wildfire.writer@gmail.com

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