How to Lose Friends and Alienate Everyone Around You

A lesson in the basics

Photo by Sabina Sturzu on Unsplash

This one girl did me an unforgettable favor back in high school. “When we first met,” she said, “I couldn’t stand you.” Instead of sulking, I asked her why. Here’s what she said:

• You were so positive it made everyone want to puke
• You pretended to be in a good mood, even when you weren’t
• You had a ridiculous fake laugh
• You tried too hard to make everyone like you
• You gave pep talks that nobody wanted to hear
• You wanted everyone’s approval
• You were so impressed with yourself
• You never told anyone what you were really thinking

She had a point.

That’s how I acted for months after moving to a new school, to hide a broken home — and my autism.

High functioners like me tend to mimic what they see, but it comes out all wrong. Sometimes you have to do the opposite of what you think you should, or what you think everyone else wants.

It wasn’t until 7 years later that I finally leaned into my so-called defects. Turns out, being a little abrasive isn’t the worst thing in the world, especially if you own it. These are the…