How to Handle Rejection in Dating

It’s not always about you.

Jessica Wildfire
5 min readJan 5, 2020

One of my friends once got stuck on a plane with a guy who wouldn’t stop talking. He tugged at her earbuds. He made jokes that she didn’t find funny. Finally, he asked for her number. He dialed it right there on the tarmac, “to make sure it’s not fake.”

Let’s start with the obvious:

If a girl gives someone a fake number, it means she’s not interested. There’s nothing sneaky about that.

Women get harassed, assaulted, and even murdered all the time for rejecting men’s catcalls and advances. So of course she’s going to be subtle. She’s trying to protect their ego, and her own safety.

The biggest mistake in dating

Both guys and girls make the same huge misstep in dating — and that’s not understanding when they’re being rejected.

And then getting upset about it.

If you pay attention, you know in about ten seconds if someone’s into you or not. Rejection happens at light speed.

Ghosting happens in two scenarios: Someone doesn’t know what they want. Or someone traps someone into a date.

It’s not exactly the most mature way to tell someone they’re not interested, but you can’t take it too personally.

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