How to Handle Rejection in Dating

It’s not always about you.

Jessica Wildfire


One of my friends once got stuck on a plane with a guy who wouldn’t stop talking. He tugged at her earbuds. He made jokes that she didn’t find funny. Finally, he asked for her number. He dialed it right there on the tarmac, “to make sure it’s not fake.”

Let’s start with the obvious:

If a girl gives someone a fake number, it means she’s not interested. There’s nothing sneaky about that.

Women get harassed, assaulted, and even murdered all the time for rejecting men’s catcalls and advances. So of course she’s going to be subtle. She’s trying to protect their ego, and her own safety.

The biggest mistake in dating

Both guys and girls make the same huge misstep in dating — and that’s not understanding when they’re being rejected.

And then getting upset about it.

If you pay attention, you know in about ten seconds if someone’s into you or not. Rejection happens at light speed.

Ghosting happens in two scenarios: Someone doesn’t know what they want. Or someone traps someone into a date.

It’s not exactly the most mature way to tell someone they’re not interested, but you can’t take it too personally.

They’re either a coward, or they got strong-armed into a date and didn’t know how else to back out.

Someone who ghosts you has their own issues to deal with. They might need to grow up a little. Or maybe they have some legit fears based on prior interactions. Either way, it probably has nothing to do with you. If someone doesn’t return your calls or texts within 3 days, just assume they don’t like your taste in patio furniture, and move on.

Don’t make such a big deal out of it

Let’s say a girl ghosts and then suddenly starts texting you again. Big deal. Wait to see if she even tries to offer an explanation.

Go ahead and text her back — out of curiosity if nothing else.

If she still doesn’t tell you why she went dark, feel free to ask. Don’t be snarky or sarcastic. Just say something like, “Hadn’t heard from you in…