How to Get Your Wife to Stop Nagging You about Housework

A guide for pre-woke husbands

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Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

Maybe stop calling it nagging

Asking someone to do half of the housework isn’t nagging anymore. If your boss criticized you for doing a bad job, or not showing up to work on time, you wouldn’t call it nagging.

Do your own laundry

Every person in my house has their own set of hampers. You put your clothes in them. Shirts. Pants. Socks. Underwear. Towels. And so on. When the hamper fills up, you do a load. You dry it. You fold it.

Take turns with groceries and cooking

Nobody should get stuck with all the meal prep. Come up with a schedule that works. Make a grocery list together in Excel. If one of you wants special ingredients, then guess what? You can go get them yourself. A man who knows the layout of a Kroger is one sexy beast.

Come up with a system for dishes

Our system is this: when one of us sees dirty dishes, we wash them. One of us might load the dishwasher. The other empties it. We both know where every single piece of cookware goes.

Divide the vacuuming/mopping duties

Each of you commands a room. Done. If you don’t know how to clean and service a vacuum, there’s videos on that too.

If you have a kid, split the childcare

Nobody should have to wake up at 5 am to a crying baby every single morning. You each deserve a Saturday or Sunday to sleep in. Your partner should know how to change a diaper and install a car seat. There’s no excuse for one person doing everything.

Learn to negotiate chores

You probably can’t split everything right down the middle. But you see a pattern here. The big picture — both of you want a clean house, with clean bathrooms, and a halfway decent lawn.

Lean on each other’s skills

One of you is probably better at cooking. The other might have a knack for organizing closet spaces, but tortures a quiche.

Rethink your assumptions about gender

Maybe you should stop falling back on the cliche that whoever makes more money should do less around the house. If your wife has a job, she makes less than you for 2 main reasons:

  1. Her entire profession is devalued, because it’s dominated by women (not because women choose to enter low-paying fields).

Other (less successful) alternatives

True, all of this can sound like a lot of work. If you’re not up for it, you can try these other options:

  1. Doing the chores so badly she doesn’t ask you again.
  2. Only doing exactly what your wife asks — like mopping the kitchen, but leaving all the cleaning supplies out when you’re done.
  3. Saying you’ll do the chores, then playing video games for three hours, and waiting until the very last minute.
  4. Complaining very loudly while you do your chores.
  5. Anything else that makes you look like a 14-year-old boy.

It’s time to man up around the house

Nothing makes a woman roll her eyes quite like listening to some guy talk about how to launch a startup or earn a million bucks, while making it pretty clear that his wife takes care of all his basic needs.

Written by

She’s the funny one. jessica.wildfire.writer@gmail.com

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