Member-only story
Satire
How to Be a Haute Mess All The Time
A recipe for self-destruction
Hey, you over there. Aren’t you tired of having your act together all the time? Don’t you roll your eyes at all those morning routine blogs and productivity listicles? Wouldn’t it be more fun to learn from someone who doesn’t have it together, and never gets anything done — but looks carefree (and so cute) while not doing it?
Good thing for you, a haute mess is here to explain her ways.
Now these girls…
They know how to have fun, which is the most important thing in life. Responsibility just ages you.
So how can you be more like them?
Not that you really want to, or need to. You’re just curious how the other half survives in such a whirlwind of self-hate and sabotage.
Attitude is absolutely everything
Your mess needs a little flare, a masterstroke of sass. The right attitude and self-talk, that’s where we go from hot mess to haute mess. You want to make everything in your life a crisis. But you want to approach every crisis with a sense of humor, so you can tweet about it.
You have to be sarcastic about everything.
Haute means fashionably elegant or…
