Come As You Are

Face your sexual obstacles and injustices.

Photo by Romina Farias on Unsplash

Women and fish have something in common. Both can fake orgasms. Specifically, the female brown trout feigns a climax in order to trick impotent males into leaving her alone.

That’s one smart fish.

Lucky for us, humans might finally approach an era where we don’t have to fake an orgasm to make someone else feel good, encourage them to finish up, or end unwanted sex.

We’re getting there. We’ve seen more smart conversations about fake orgasms, and the orgasm gap. But we still haven’t broached one awkward subject — anorgasmia, the inability to climax.

I’m not talking about a gap, or a delay. I’m talking about absence. As in always extremely difficult, or impossible.

This shouldn’t be a weird conversation, but it is.

Some people don’t have a choice about whether to fake it or not — including men. They literally can’t come.

Some people struggle to climax because of mental or emotional issues. My first orgasm with a partner didn’t happen until my early 30s. My trust issues ran deep, and I had to deal with them.

Other people wrestle with physical and neurological challenges. Either way, talking about the problems is crucial.