When you swipe right on your professor

Sex and attraction between students and teachers

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Photo by Tony Lam Hoang on Unsplash

The trope of sexy teacher

Every teacher wants their students to like them. At least a little. Some of us even want them to find us attractive. How weird is that? In grad school, most TAs would’ve killed for a chili pepper on their RateMyProfessor page. One guy even created a fake account to give himself one.

When fantasy hits the fan

Part of me likes the taboo of student attraction. But it’s just that — an off limits fantasy. Teachers want the chili pepper for its own sake. Otherwise, sex and charm can make us vulnerable. A chili pepper presents a nice, sanitized version of what can happen in actual classrooms.

Drawing thin red lines

Teachers will always have to be the ones who set the boundaries. Double standard or not, we live in a culture that shoulders unfair levels of responsibility on educators. We’re paid squat, but half the country thinks we should be carrying firearms to protect their kids.

Teachers have a bad rep these days

I’ve flirted, but never dated a student. Not even a former one. It’s smart to avoid drama. Especially in academia. Anytime we turn up in the news, it’s for something bad. Skim the headlines: Teacher busted for kiddie porn. Arrested for sleeping with students. Fired for salacious tweets. Disciplined for scandalous photos. You name it.

Some teachers do court former students

Attraction drives on two-way streets. For every student who fantasizes about their teacher, a teacher does the same. We hear plenty of stories about lecherous professors. One colleague narrowly escaped being fired after he invited a student to his house and tried to make out with her over cappuccinos and biscotti.

Teachers enjoy sex, just like you

I’ve wondered why sex and education have such an odd relationship. In the end, there’s nothing wrong with finding a teacher attractive. Or vice versa. Sex happens. And attraction comes cheap. There’s no point in acting surprised. Seems like anytime I write about sex, I wind up coming to the same general conclusions. We would have a lot less trouble if we didn’t repress talk about sex and sexuality.

Written by

She’s the funny one. jessica.wildfire.writer@gmail.com

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