Member-only story
Bad Gifts from Terrible People
Why we should stop trying to give the perfect gift.
The love of my college years surprised me with a Christmas present. Or maybe I should say he got his other girlfriend something, and gave it to me by accident. They say it’s the thought that counts.
But sometimes it counts backwards.
Stickers. He got me stickers. Or got her stickers, I guess. They were My Little Pony themed. Or Rainbow Bright. I can’t remember. What I do recall is that smug, expectant look on his face as I peeled off the wrapping.
Yes, he’d wrapped stickers.
The worst part? It took him five minutes to realize the screw up.
He watched me squint my way toward some kind of understanding while we waited on our lattes. Finally, I just said, “That’s so... I’m really sorry I didn’t get you anything.” After all, we were casual. On again, off again.
His choice.
Meanwhile, I’d spent the last year trying to make myself good enough for him. I’d even started going to his church. For an atheist, that’s a big deal. I was prepared for a lifetime of fake Christianity.
He wouldn’t let the ponies go, even when I tried to change the subject. “Don’t you like them?” he kept saying.
