Recently you heard the President of the United States suggest a radical new treatment for COVID-19.
Lysol. Inside your body.
Or maybe bleach!
You paused for a minute and thought, maybe…? After all, the president is privy to all kinds of classified information.
Then you picked up a bottle of Lysol and read the label.
Now you’re wondering if the president is really the very stable genius he’s claimed to be. It took you less than a minute to remember that household cleaners shouldn’t go inside your body. So, can you trust this guy — or not? Is he even as smart as you are?
If only there were a quiz, so you could know for sure. Well, you’re in luck! Answer these 10 questions, and you’ll finally know how your intelligence stacks up against the commander-in-chief’s!
1. The best defense against a hurricane is…
A) Not being there when one makes landfall.
B) A nuclear weapon.
C) A very strong wall.
D) A very, like, massively huge electric fan that could blow it away.
2. What would happen if you bombarded yourself with UV light?
A) It would turn you into a crispy snack.
B) It could possibly transport you through time and space.
C) It might give you superpowers.
D) It might cure deadly viruses while giving you the most wonderful tan.
3. When did The Civil War happen?
C) Which Civil War — the first, or the second?
D) I just love Andrew Jackson.
4. What is the best use of our nation’s space exploration capabilities?
A) To explore new worlds.
B) To seek out new life, and new civilizations.
C) To boldly go…
D) It would be cool to put fighter jets on the moon.
5. Can you still buy a country from another country?
A) No, we stopped doing that a long time ago.
B) Maybe, if you asked really nicely.
C) Not sure, but Wikipedia probably knows.
D) This week Greenland, next week Taiwan!
6. What is clean coal?
A) It’s a process of capturing carbon when coal is burned for fuel.
B) I don’t know exactly, but it sounds complicated.
C) It can’t possibly be just scrubbing coal.
D) You dig up some coal, and hose it off real good.
7. What is the nuclear triad?
A) It means we can deliver nuclear weapons via launch pads, submarines, or from aircraft.
B) Maybe three different types of nuclear weapons?
C) The… what?
D) Nuclear weapons are so powerful.
8. What would happen if you injected yourself with bleach?
A) You would die almost immediately.
B) I don’t know. Let me check the label.
C) If a Tidepod would kill you, then I’m guessing it’s not good.
D) It could clean your lungs out like magic.
9. What number comes after 8?
D) 8 is a very powerful number.
10. What’s the best way to deal with a pandemic?
A) Self-quarantine, testing, face masks, and an economic pause.
B) Some half-assed social distancing measures.
C) Call it a hoax, and it will leave you alone.
D) Have you seen my ratings? They’re incredible.
Answer key: If you chose A for every question, then congratulations! You’re way smarter than the president of the United States. If you chose B or C, then you didn’t receive a great education. Please stop getting pissed off at everyone who actually paid attention during their high school science classes. If you answered D, then there’s really nothing the rest of us can do or say to prevent you from shooting up with Lysol. Go for it, I guess.